Why Victoria's New Machete Ban Makes No Sense

Victoria Has a Problem...

Victoria has a problem. Well, it has many… but for some reason, people are walking around with machetes and attacking others. And in the typical style that we’ve come to expect, the Victorian government has decided the solution is simple: ban the machete altogether. Every last one of them. Farmers, campers, prospectors, gardeners — congratulations, you’re now in the same category as gang members brawling in a shopping mall food court.

From September 1st, 2025, it becomes illegal to own, use, carry, transport, buy, or sell a machete in Victoria. The penalty? Up to two years in prison or a $47,000 fine. That’s right — the same government that trusts you with chainsaws, axes, firearms if you’ve got a license, and the occasional nail gun… has decided that a two-foot strip of sharpened steel is just too much responsibility for the average Victorian.

And don’t worry — they’re helping us out. To keep you safe, they’ve spent $13 million on forty big blue bins where you can surrender your machetes during the amnesty. That’s about $325,000 per bin. The world’s most expensive rubbish bins — designed not for litter, but for the humble bush knife. The kind of tool people have been using for generations to clear scrub, hack through blackberries, or split firewood.

The ban seems poised to ensnare ordinary people far more readily than the knife-wielding criminals it’s supposed to target. But, let’s cut through the absurdity — pun very much intended — and take a closer look at what this law really means, who it actually affects, and whether it’s going to stop the people it’s supposedly targeting.

The $13 Million Bin Solution

It sounds like the setup to a satirical novel: the Victorian government spends $13 million installing 40 bright blue “Machete Amnesty” bins across the state – an eye-watering $325,000 per bin – to solve knife crime. These hefty steel boxes (complete with concrete anchors and CCTV monitoring) are meant to encourage citizens to drop off their now-forbidden bush knives, no questions asked. The premise is almost comical: as if violent gang members will dutifully queue up at the local police station to chuck their machetes into what social media has dubbed “the Gucci of steel boxes”. Meanwhile, everyday folks who’ve long used machetes as humble tools are scratching their heads. Victoria – a state famed for camping, hiking, and bushwhacking adventures – has decided that the same blade used to clear a trail or lop a garden shrub is suddenly an enemy of the public.

The price tag alone invites satire. $325k apiece for metal boxes that will stand for only a three-month amnesty has prompted outrage and ridicule. Critics quip that for that money each bin should come gold-plated or with a luxury car included. “A steel fabricator could have manufactured all 40 of these bins for $325,000… the money went somewhere, but where?” one commentator mused, encapsulating public suspicions of government waste.

In an era of tight budgets, spending millions on giant knife disposal cans – instead of, say, community programs or more police on the beat – struck many as absurd. Premier Jacinta Allan’s government, however, insists the expenditure is justified for public safety, with each tamper-proof bin featuring reinforced steel and 24/7 surveillance to prevent “random drop-offs” gone wrong. Expensive? Yes. But necessary, they argue, to get deadly blades off the streets in a splashy, highly visible way.

Exemptions and the Permit Maze

Aware that machetes aren’t only wielded by street thugs, the government did include exemptions – albeit narrowly defined ones. Agricultural workers “who use them as part of their job” are explicitly exempted. There are also carve-outs for “traditional, historical or cultural” uses. In practice, this covers museum displays, historical reenactors, certain indigenous cultural practices, and the like. If you already have a valid exemption for swords or daggers (say, you’re a registered collector or a member of a medieval reenactment society), that will extend to machetes as well.

But here’s the catch: campers, bushwalkers, hunters, gardeners, prospectors – none of those recreational uses are automatically exempt. The everyday Victorian who feels they have a “legitimate reason” to keep a machete must now go cap-in-hand to the authorities. Specifically, they can apply for a Chief Commissioner of Police approval, essentially a special permit, by outlining their reasons in an application. Each permit costs a fee, is granted case-by-case, and if approved lasts 3 years. It’s a bureaucratic hoop-jump that few casual machete owners are likely to bother with.

After all, how many weekend campers will file paperwork, pay a fee, and await police judgement – just to keep a brush-clearing knife in their 4WD kit? The government hasn’t exactly encouraged it, either; they make clear that if you’re not a farmer or traditional owner or bona fide historical fencer, you’re probably out of luck. In fact, early indications suggest that “no exemptions for campers and bush crafters” will be granted under the new regime. The message to outdoor enthusiasts is effectively: find another tool or stay home.

The exemption process underscores the law’s clunkiness. A machete’s legitimacy now depends not on what you’re actually doing with it, but on who you are on paper. A parks volunteer doing conservation work might qualify for a permit; a solo hiker doing the exact same clearing of overgrown tracks likely would not. This has led to dark comedy in public discourse – imagine park rangers interrogating hikers: “Excuse me mate, got a license for that knife?” One can’t help but picture Crocodile Dundee rolling his eyes at having to fill out forms to carry his iconic blade.

Arbitrary Weapons and Strange Comparisons

The machete ban shines a harsh light on how arbitrarily we sometimes treat different “weapons.” Yes, machetes have been used in some terrifying incidents – gang fights, armed robberies, and so on. The government cites sobering stats: nearly 15,000 knives (including machetes) were seized in Victoria last year, and 23 young men have died in stabbing attacks since 2020. Nobody disputes that knife crime is a real problem. But the focus on machetes specifically raises eyebrows.

If the goal is to reduce stabbings, why single out this particular blade? A machete’s lethality is not inherently greater than that of a long kitchen knife, a hunting knife, or for that matter a hand axe or hammer – none of which are banned items. Criminals, sadly, are resourceful: take away their machetes and they could grab a cleaver or even a screwdriver to wreak havoc. Those aren’t prohibited; they’re everyday tools.

Victoria’s approach now makes owning a machete harder than owning a gun, in some ways. A law-abiding shooter can obtain a firearm license in Australia through a structured process for accepted purposes (like sport shooting or pest control), and then legally keep a rifle locked in their safe. But a law-abiding camper in Victoria cannot as easily keep a machete for cutting wood – that’s outright illegal without a special exemption.

Other Australian states, notably, have not felt the need to ban machetes outright. In NSW or Queensland, for example, machetes are treated like other large knives – you shouldn’t carry one in public without a good reason, but you’re allowed to own and use one on your property or out bush. Victoria is breaking new ground with this blanket prohibition (the first of its kind in Australia). It invites a contrast: are Victorian citizens uniquely untrustworthy with large knives, or is this ban more about political optics than public safety?

The Amnesty and Unintended Consequences

And so, Victoria now faces a peculiar experiment. Come September 1, 2025, thousands of ordinary people will technically become potential criminals overnight unless they’ve disposed of their machetes or navigated the exemption maze. The government has provided a three-month amnesty period (Sept 1 – Nov 30, 2025) where folks can hand in machetes without penalty. No doubt, some shed-clearing will occur – old machetes unearthed and dropped off, as much out of confusion or caution as obedience.

The real bad actors, however, are unlikely to be queuing at the bin. The law’s “unintended consequence” could be that post-amnesty; it’s the harmless users who get caught in the dragnet. Imagine a scenario in 2026: a gold prospector driving home from the High Country gets pulled over for a random traffic stop – and ends up charged because an old machete is found in his truck from last weekend’s camping. It’s not far-fetched. Without ill intent, he’s now facing the same criminal sanction as a thug brandishing a knife in a street brawl.

Selective Crackdowns and Public Theatre

There’s also a rich irony in how selective this crackdown is. Victoria’s streets are grappling with plenty of issues – youth unemployment, an actual gun trafficking problem, a worsening housing crisis. Yet we now have $13 million worth of high-security bins as a centerpiece of the government’s crime policy.

The practical efficacy of this approach is in serious doubt, and that’s where the satire creeps in. Are we any safer when a machete used for clearing blackberries is banned, while a long kitchen knife from Kmart remains perfectly legal to purchase and carry in your car (just say it’s for a picnic)? Will a gang member inclined to violence really reconsider their life choices because the specific shape of knife they favor is now illegal? I suspect not.

The theatre of the ban is clear: it’s a government that’s keen to be seen doing something, it’s a public relations campaign in blue metal boxes shouting “we’re tough on crime.” The reality on the ground will unfold in due course. As we watch how this grand experiment plays out, one thing’s for sure: the line between satire and reality in Victoria has never been thinner – or sharper.

Here's the video we made on this on the OzGeology YouTube Channel: